


You Know I Love You (I Know)

by injunoir



Series: You.You.You. [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: I'm sorry Sicheng for making you a bad person, M/M, OOC, Toxic Relationship, mentions of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 15:37:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19379659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/injunoir/pseuds/injunoir
Summary: It's an endless cycle but it's okay because Jaehyun knows that Sicheng loves him and that's all that matters.





	You Know I Love You (I Know)

**Author's Note:**

> Please be warned, in case tags were not read, this is a toxic relationship!!! This may (most likely will) have a sequel to it! Read at your own caution please!
> 
> Loosely inspired of the song Who Are You? by Fifth Harmony

_**monday.** _

Jaehyun bowed, thanking the delivery boy as he held the bouquet of flowers.

_"I'm sorry, forgive me, you know I love you"_

He smiles, bitterly yet also fondly.

 _I do know_ , he thinks as he puts the flowers in a vase, _and I will forgive you._

He takes the card away from the bouquet and puts it along with the others in the same black box with white velvet coating the inside. All the cards were different, at least on the outside. One was a small circle shape, another was a star, but most were different sized and colored hearts

The message was always the same, just worded differently.

 _“I'm sorry, I love you,” “Jaehyunnie, you're the one I love and that won't change. Forgive me my love,”_ or the one message that's usually used, _“Don't leave me, it was a mistake that won't happen again. You know I love you.”_

_You know I love you._

Jaehyun knows. At least he believed he did.

 

_**tuesday.** _

“You can't keep doing this!”

Jaehyun screams, heart wrenching as he stares at the one man who brings him happiness yet also pain. Tears are rolling down his cheeks, Jaehyun refusing to wipe them away as he stares with bloodshot eyes.

“I'm sorry.”

Jaehyun scoffs, “Right. Like always. You keep saying _sorry_ , Sicheng! When will you actually _mean_ it?”

“ _I do_ ,” Sicheng’s voice cracks, “I mean it every single time, Jaehyun. Believe me. You know—”

“—you love me,” Jaehyun chokes out, “It doesn't feel like it. You say you'll always love me, that you're fucking sorry but you're lying! You're going to keep doing the same shit _over and over_! Sicheng when will I get to breathe? When will you stop making me drown under all the shit you put me through? First you _cheat_ on me, then you go out to god knows where and leave me here waiting for you to come home but you never. do. Sicheng, I _can't_ keep doing this…”

Sicheng walks forward, wiping away Jaehyun’s tears, “You _can_ ,” he says sternly, “Because you love me and I love _you_. And you know that others won't know how to take care of you like _I_ do. I already apologized for that shit, stop bringing it back up.”

Jaehyun pulls back, “Okay, I'm going to bed.”

He walks to _their_ bedroom, the same bedroom Jaehyun spends nights crying on and waiting for the other side to get occupied by his boyfriend. The bedroom that seems more like Jaehyun's rather than theirs.

“I'm going out.”

Jaehyun scoffs quietly to himself, letting himself sink to _their_ bed, “of course you are.”

 

_**wednesday.** _

“Sicheng stop!”

Jaehyun laughs loudly, pushing Sicheng away as he runs away. Sicheng laughs and runs after him.

They're at a park having a picnic. The park is the one where Sicheng proposed the idea of moving in together. A park that Sicheng considers to be a mark of his _power_ over Jaehyun. Sicheng takes Jaehyun there after fights as a way to show Jaehyun they're meant for each other and no way for them to part. That Jaehyun belongs to him because even if they fight, Jaehyun goes back. Every single time.

After a while of running around and pushing each other on the swingset of the playground, they sit atop the picnic blanket. Jaehyun's head on Sicheng's lap as he looks up at him, admiring the view that is his lover.

Sicheng looks down at him, smiling, “You know I love you, right Jaehyunnie?”

Jaehyun nods, holding Sicheng's hand in his, “I know Chengie, I know. I'll always love you, too, no matter what.”

“You better,” Sicheng grins, “Don't leave me, okay? I won't be able to handle it if you left me.”

Jaehyun nods, smile faltering slightly, “I won't, I promise.”

 

_**thursday.** _

_He's cheating on you. Again._

Jaehyun sighs, tossing his phone to the other side of the living room. He retreats to his bedroom instead, deciding that leaving Doyoung on read was better.

He hears the lock turn and front door open. The loud shuffling and rustling of a bag. The quiet shut of the door, and the footsteps leading to their bedroom.

“Hey sweets,” Sicheng says as he walks in, not glancing at Jaehyun who was under the covers and instead focuses on getting rid of his socks and switching from jeans to shorts.

“Hi,” Jaehyun mutters, quickly wiping away his tears.

_I saw him with Ten again._

“You okay in there?” Sicheng chuckles, groaning as he lays beside Jaehyun and attempts to remove the blanket.

“Yeah.”

“Jaehyunnie, what's wrong?”

“Nothing ‘m fine.”

“Jaehyun.”

The boy under the covers flinches at Sicheng’s tone, quickly revealing himself from underneath the blanket. Sicheng's eyes slightly widened as he notices the faint tear streaks on Jaehyun’s cheeks.

“Why were you crying?” He whispered, wiping away Jaehyun's tears.

 _You have to leave him Jaehyun, your relationship is toxic. You_ need _to leave him for your own good._

“Doyoung told me he saw you with Ten again.”

Sicheng sighs, rolling his eyes as he pulled his arm back to his side, “Of course. So you're just going to listen to everything that guy says? Jesus Jaehyun, the dude’s obviously fuckin’ in love with you, of course he’ll tell you whatever he has to, to break us up. Stop listening to the bullshit he feeds you.”

“Were you with Ten today?”

“No? And he's my best friend, I can see him whenever I want. Just friends, not like i'm sleeping with him. I don't wanna talk about this shit.”

“I don't want you to, not again.”

“It won't happen! Can't you fucking trust me for once? You're like that guys toy or something, quit listening to what he says.”

“I trusted you when you slept with Ten and Kun.”

“Oh my fucking god Jaehyun, I'm not cheating on you.”

He believed him. He trusts him. Sicheng's one to not lie again, Jaehyun believes, Sicheng wouldn't hurt him like that again. He keeps telling himself that Sicheng is the one he'll always trust and love. That Sicheng is the only one who'll love him.

And he does so as he lets Sicheng's hands wander all over his body while his lips were attached to Jaehyun's neck.

Sicheng loves Jaehyun, not Ten. Not Kun. He loves him and only him.

 

_**friday.** _

Jaehyun remembers why he fell in love with Sicheng.

At first, he was drawn to his appearance. Sicheng always wore a leather jacket with a ‘W’ stitched in cursive on the collar. Ripped skinny jeans and ankle boots. He had his hair curled when Jaehyun first laid his eyes on him.

They met at one of the few gay bars in his town little over a month since he finished sophomore year in college. 

Sicheng was intriguing, Jaehyun remembers, with the way he always stared intently and had a mysterious aura. When their eyes first locked on each other, Jaehyun remembers the heat on his cheeks as Sicheng openly checked him out.

Jaehyun took his time to dress up that day. He was wearing his nicest button up shirt with his tight leather pants his best friend Doyoung chose for him, and he'd even let the high school senior, Donghyuck, who was dating his friend Mark, do his makeup.

They hooked up that night. Later occasionally meeting up which later progressed to dates and soon enough, the two were boyfriends.

Sicheng was everything he loved. He was kind, considerate, thoughtful, and always made sure Jaehyun was happy.

Nowadays, Jaehyun likes to hold on to the memories of the early stages of their relationship. He misses it, he won't lie, but he'll appreciate what he has now anyways.

He knows Sicheng made a mistake, sleeping with Kun, and he knows it would never happen again. Sicheng made sure to make it up to Jaehyun and did everything to be forgiven and taken back.

Jaehyun loved Sicheng and Sicheng loved him back.

 

_**saturday.** _

Jaehyun’s chest never felt so heavy, throat so tight, and head never pounded as hard as it did.

Sicheng had just stormed out of the apartment after spending most of the time yelling at Jaehyun. According to him, Jaehyun cheated with Doyoung.

_“I fucking knew it!” Sicheng shouts, “You fucking bitch, you spent all your time accusing me of cheating on you when you were the one going behind my back!”_

Apparently, Ten told Sicheng he spotted the two hugging and out together on a ‘date’ at the Zoo. The two, along with their friend group, took a day to visit the Zoo after so long of not hanging out. Doyoung had just comforted Jaehyun after another discussion over Sicheng and _that_ was what Ten saw.

Sicheng shouted, hardly letting Jaehyun explain himself as he towered over the boy who cried. Jaehyun was on the floor, in the corner of the living room, with his arms shielding himself from Sicheng's harshness.

He'd never feared the one he loved as much as he did at that moment.

Sicheng only left after slamming the door, the echo bouncing off the walls of the dark apartment. Jaehyun’s cries being the only sound heard.

They didn't speak for the whole day.

 

_**sunday.** _

Sicheng decides he needs space. Away From Jaehyun. And Jaehyun agrees, he also needs space.

So, the two go their separate ways early sunday morning. Jaehyun goes with his parents, finally feeling like he can breathe again as he gets away from the dark and lonely filled apartment. The apartment that was once filled with happiness and laughter with so much love.

Sicheng goes to see Ten, but Jaehyun didn't know that.

Jaehyun relaxes while at his parents home, smiling widely with his mother and laughing loudly at the jokes his father shared.

He couldn't wait to go back home to share everything with Sicheng.

 _Home._ The apartment that Jaehyun thought of and imagined himself laying on the shared bed with his lover’s arms around him.

Home. The apartment that was currently being used by Sicheng and Ten.

Jaehyun returns to the empty apartment but happily waits for Sicheng to return. He couldn't wait to share the jokes his father told and to see his face as he ate the food Jaehyun made from the new recipe he learned from his mother.

Jaehyun loved Sicheng, and Sicheng loved him.

He knew it. He was glad to find the bouquet on the table, the heart shaped card between the petals.

_“You know I love you, don't you dare leave me. I'm sorry Jaehyunnie, forgive me.”_

 

**And it's monday again.**

**Author's Note:**

> hope it wasn't too sad :( sorry sicheng :(
> 
>  
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/neofleur)


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